Why Gratitude Is the Most Underrated Competitive Advantage You’re Not Using

Transcript

An Email at 8:46

Jeff Payne 0:27

Saturday morning at 8:46 AM, I got an email. It was two, maybe three sentences, and I read it three times. Not because it was long, not because it was complicated, because it was refreshing and uplifting in the best possible way. It was from a friend and client named Dan Goodwin. He's a business leader and owner of Provident1031. He works hard. He thinks bigger than most rooms he walks into, and he took two minutes on a Saturday morning out of whatever was already pulling at him to tell me he was all in and to thank me. Three sentences, and it gave me an extra bounce in my step all day. That's what I wanna talk about today, gratitude. The thing most of us say we have, the thing very few of us actually live. I'm Jeff Payne. This is my podcast. You're listening to episode number 10, and I promise you, by the end of this episode, you're going to put your phone down or stop what you're doing and send someone a message they didn't see coming. Let's go.

Gratitude vs Habit

Jeff Payne 1:40

Here's the problem with gratitude. We've turned it into a practice, a morning journaling prompt, a five-minute app, a box to check between your cold plunge and your protein shake. Three things I'm grateful for today: coffee, my health, my family. Done. Box checked. Move on. That's not gratitude. That's a habit disguised as a virtue. Real gratitude, the kind that changes rooms, changes relationships, changes the trajectory of someone else's day isn't something you do, it's something you are, and there's a massive difference. One version makes you feel better in the morning, and the other version makes other people feel better all day without warning, without an agenda.

Dan Goodwin Example

Jeff Payne 2:29

Dan Goodwin doesn't send gratitude emails because he blocks out time for them. He sends them because that's who he is. The man thanks waitresses for a job well done. He sends texts out of the blue. He takes a positive angle when everyone else in the room is calculating risk. He's not performing gratitude, he's made of it. That's the standard I aim for, and if you think about it, it's probably the standard you want as well.

Todd Duncan Victory

Jeff Payne 3:00

A few weeks ago, I saw a LinkedIn post that stopped me scrolling completely. It was from Todd Duncan. If you don't know Todd, look him up. He shaped the careers of hundreds of thousands of sales and business professionals. He shaped mine for 30 years, mostly without him knowing it. 10 years ago, Todd heard the words nobody wants to hear You have cancer. Last month, he posted on LinkedIn about being 10 years cancer-free. I encourage you to look at my show notes on jeffpayne.net, episode number 10, and see the picture of Todd and the piece of paper he is holding in his hand and what he scribbled on that sheet of paper. It is life-changing. But here's what got me. It wasn't the survival story, as remarkable as that is. It was how he talked about it. He said cancer stripped life to what truly matters. He talked about losing his wife to breast cancer, and he said that in the same post where he was celebrating his own survival, he celebrated with humility, with empathy for the people still in the fight. And then he listed what the whole journey taught him. Don't wait to live your life fully. Tell people you love them often. Take care of your body. It's the only place you have to live. Never undermest- underestimate the power of hope, faith, and great doctors. Todd called the photo he posted his victory blessings, not because he won, his words, but because he was given more time. Todd says, quote, "I was given more time, and with that time, I intend to make it count," end of quote. That's gratitude at its highest form. Not born from comfort, born from loss, refined by fire.

Hardship Refines Thanks

Jeff Payne 5:04

I've noticed this pattern in people, the ones who've faced real hardship, illness, bankruptcy, grief, failure. They're often the most grateful, not because suffering is noble, but because suffering has a way of burning off all the noise and leaving w- you with what only is real. Gratitude, in that sense, isn't a personality trait you're born with. It's often a scar that healed into something beautiful.

A Mentor Exchange

Jeff Payne 5:33

After I read Todd's post, I did something I don't always do. I repi- replied publicly on LinkedIn. I told Todd he'd been a mentor of mine for 30 years. I told him a friend once said to me, "Jeff, do you realize you sound just like Todd Duncan?" And I told Todd that was one of the biggest compliments I'd ever received. I didn't know if Todd would see it. I didn't know if he'd respond. It wasn't a strategy. It wasn't a networking play. It was just true, and something in me felt like truth deserved to be spoken out loud. He replied back, quote, "You made the difference in your life. You," in all caps, "get the credit for doing the work. I just was the bridge." and you walked across it." End of quote. I thought about that and wrote back, "That's the mark of a great mentor, Todd. You made the bridge feel like it was built just for me. I'm grateful for every step." He replied love." Three words, all caps, and I felt like I was 25 years old again, figuring out who I wanted to become. Here's what I want you to hear in that exchange: gratitude isn't a one-way street. When you express it genuinely, without agenda, you don't just honor the person who helped you, you remind them why they do what they do. You hand them something they didn't know they needed, because genuine gratitude is rare enough that when people feel it, they feel it completely.

Thanks in All Seasons

Jeff Payne 7:16

As a Christian, I'm reminded o- of 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18. It says, "Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." Notice those words, "in all circumstances." Not when things go right, not when the deal closes, not when the scan comes back clean. All circumstances. That's not a passive suggestion. That's a posture, a way of orienting yourself towards life that doesn't depend on conditions being favorable. And I think this is where gratitude gets hard for most of us, because it's easy to be grateful when business is good, when the family is healthy, when the numbers make sense. The real test is, can you find something to be grateful for when it doesn't? That's not toxic positivity. That's not pretending the hard thing isn't hard. It's choosing deliberately, sometimes painfully, to locate the gift inside the difficulty. Todd Duncan did that. Whether you share in my faith or not, that kind of orientation towards life is worth studying.

Send the Message

Jeff Payne 8:35

Here's where I get off the philosophical train and hand you something practical. Not a habit, not a journal prompt, not an action. Right now, at the moment you finish this, think of one person who showed up for you. A mentor, a friend, a client who believed in you when you weren't sure you believed in yourself. Someone who built a bridge you've been walking across for years. Write them a message. Not a long one. Dan Goodwin's email to me was three sentences. Three sentences that changed my morning. Todd's was three words. Just tell them, "Here's what you meant to me. Here's how you showed up. Here's what I'm grateful for." Don't overthink it. Don't wait until you have the perfect words. Send the imperfect ones because here's what I've learned. People are waiting to hear from you more than tell them it landed.

Be the Grateful One

Jeff Payne 9:29

I started this episode with an email I got at 8:46 AM Saturday morning. Dan Goodwin took two minutes to tell me he was blown away, that he was all in, that he saw something in what I was building. Three sentences. And I thought, "This is the missing link." Not a strategy, not a system, not a growth hack, just a man who's made of gratitude taking two minutes on a Saturday morning to make someone feel like what they're doing matters. I wanna be more like Dan. I wanna be more like Todd. I wanna be that kind of person who sends the text that nobody was expecting, not because it's on my to-do list, but because it's who I am. I'm not there yet, but I'm working on it, and that's what this podcast is about, not teaching you, learning al- alongside you.

Start Today

Jeff Payne 10:22

Life is short. Start today, right now, with one short but meaningful message. And if this episode meant something to you, I'd love to know. I'm Jeff Payne. Thanks for being here